Friday Morning Devo ~ Print Edition

Why not?

Has your heart ever been filleted and laid out for all to see like the “catch of the day” at the local fish market?

Have you had days when quitting seemed like a better option than pushing forward?

When is the last time you felt like no one else really cared and that God might just be on the same page as those whose love you question?

If one of these, or all of these, or these and many more have been used to describe your well being emotionally or spiritually, you are not alone.

Let me repeat that… YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Need proof?

Look no farther than 11 guys standing next to their leader in one of the most pivotal moments of their life…

“Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20)

Don’t read over that familiar passage too quickly. Don’t gloss past one of the most revealing statements ever found in the context of the “Great Commission.”

“…but some doubted.”

Now, let that sink in… The 11 men who had followed Jesus for three years, witnessed thousands of hungry bellies filled, watched him heal the sick and raise the dead, saw him crucified for all to witness and then prove his ultimate power over death by raising from the dead…

…and the summary of their faith while they were watching Jesus’ last moments before his ascension? “…but some doubted.”

What is more fascinating about this account of Jesus’ “passing the baton” moment is that Jesus doesn’t seem to miss a beat. He knows the heart of men, he knew what they were thinking. Yet, was there any scolding or redirecting of this band of brothers towards a stronger hold on faith?

NO…

He moves forward with the instructions for their future endeavors, seemingly without the batting of an eye.

I wonder, if Jesus could be in the presence of doubt from such a weathered group of followers, could it be that his presence is with you and I when we’re guilty of the same thoughts?

I say yes…

When the life of C.S. Lewis was interrupted by love in the person of Joy Gresham, then gutted by her death just a few years after their marriage, He struggled deeply with grief and a “loss of direction.”

His first responses included questioning why God would let him love someone so deeply at the age of 56 and then allow her to die only 4 years into their marriage.

His book, “A Grief Observed” was written as an expression of his grief. In it he writes these often quoted and read words…

“Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be—or so it feels—welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows.”

Even during Joy’s fight with cancer, Lewis found the pain and suffering so difficult to deal with, his emotions were in turmoil. He says…

Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not “So there’s no God after all,” but “So this is what God’s really like. Deceive yourself no longer.

One of the most uncomfortable times in life is when you have someone who is hurting and you want to help them, encourage them and bring them some sense of hope. The sad reality of this attempt at setting aside the raging nature of doubt, is that we often don’t see the benefit of admitting to that person that you’ve wondered about God as well.

My goal is not to tackle the theology of pain, there are many who are much more qualified than I am to wade into those deep waters. But, I would like to share some thoughts I have as to why this struggle is so real, and for some, more prevalent than faith…

FOLLOWERS OF JESUS LIVE IN A SINNERS PRISON.

What do I mean by a sinners prison? Very simply put, Satan is the “prince and power of the air.” We, despite our forgiven and redeemed heart, still have to face the reality of sin. It’s results and it’s hindrances.

Don’t allow this to distract you in any way, other than to admit, struggle isn’t the evidence of your lack of faith. Jesus said, “in this world you will have trouble.” (John 16). Jesus knew that and lived on to accomplish his purpose here on earth. With his help, you will too.

Do I wish it were not so? I do… Yet, I have all the evidence against me. One such example of how this “sinners prison” I live in has caused me, and others pain, is the reality that admitting doubt was unheard of in my “religious” well being.

When others expressed it, I “affirmed” their struggle (wink, wink) while assaulting them with reasons why they shouldn’t doubt. I was judgmental. Time and struggle has helped me act this way less. I hope I can shrug off this attitude entirely someday.

Maybe you’re guilty like I am. Afterall, we do live in the same sinners prison. A note of good news. This place doesn’t last forever. Can I get an AMEN! As the old church hymn says… “This world is not my home, I’m just a passing through, my treasures are laid up…” You know the rest.

As long as I live on this earth, I live in a sinners prison. But, my Savior reached into my heart and commuted my sentence. I am now free on the inside and when I leave this prison, I’ll be free of all it’s nasty tricks and treachery.

LIFE HAPPENS AND SOMETIMES IT’S YOUR TURN.

Man, does that have some sharp edges. I am not trying to take you out, honest. But some of us within the faith community have bought into the lie that if you’re “good, godly, faithful, righteous, tithing, reading your Bible, praying…” and the list could go on, God is going to make sure only good things happen to you.

Enter in from stage right, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar (no these are not characters from any of the “Lord of the Rings” movie). You may know the phrase “Job’s comforters.” Well, these three are the reason the expression even exists.

Again, no long theological treatise here about these men and their beliefs, just the reality that you and I are good at “telling” others how to get past the difficulties that derail our faith, but often are unwilling to admit we have the same type of struggles.

And, life happens, sometimes it’s your turn. For me it was two surgeries and my father’s death within three months. The dark night of the soul was more real than can ever express here.

I want to tell you… You are not alone…

11 men standing next to Jesus, and “…some doubted.“

Don’t let another person decide what is or isn’t good about your doubt and struggle.

If Jesus lectured his followers at the point of his departure, it’s not recorded. And if you look very long, you’ll see he had no issue saying, “O ye of little faith.“ (Matthew 6, 8, 14)

I know these next few words may not be helpful, but I must attempt them… Joni Erickson Tada, Dave Dravecky, David Ring, Dave Roever, all have had less than perfect circumstances come to their life. I pray you might find hope in their stories. One note about these, each of them still suffer, it has not gone away from their lives. All of them have expressed the struggle their physical battle bring to their heart, mind and faith. Their theologies are not alike, but their Savior is.

CHRISTIANITY REALLY DOES SEEM TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

When is the last time someone gave you something for nothing? No, I’m serious. When someone gives us a gift we think we must reciprocate. When someone loves us, we feel we must love back in some way. When a promotion comes, we’ve earned it. When God says be “blameless”, “Holy”, “without fault”, “no hint of immorality” and other such unattainable behaviors, we don’t turn to him and say, “Jesus has that covered through his grace”. Instead, we beat our heads against the grindstone of effort and claim that it brings you closer to the being God wants you to be.

“…all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment,” states the old prophet. (Isaiah 64)

“None is righteous, no, not one; …no one seeks for God.” a recovering “righteous” man once said. (Romans 3)

That same writer also penned these words... “Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? (Galatians 3)

Attend some self help seminars, leadership classes, weekend conferences and even many Bible studies and you’ll hear the admonishment to “be a better you.”

I get it. But, if you’re like me, those ideals can get lost when your child is sick, or your family can’t seem to get along, or buying groceries is a “pipe dream.”

Allow something as invasive as cancer, ALS, leukemia, rape, murder… etc… to break through your theology and self concept, and you are a prime candidate for the lessons of faith and self concept you never wanted to learn or experience.

I’ve you’ve been discouraged by someone telling you to “pray” in the midst of your delusional thinking, you’re not alone.

If you’ve ever wanted to dismember a person, who sincerely wants to help, saying something about having “faith”, then welcome to the club.

Why? Because Christianity can sometimes seem too good to be true.

Unless…

Ok, there isn’t a good answer sometimes. But, hanging on to faith in the midst of this battle is messy, but it’s the only thing worth waiting on. Worth investing in…

At the center of faith we see grace… and like faith, grace is messy.

And apart from grace, it’s easy to lose perspective.

And when Christianity seems too good to be true, grace can help clear the clutter from the “if you – then God” theologies that just complicate an already difficult truth about God. Sometimes he chooses different than what we think he should.

Thousands fed seems a little far fetched when you are hungry. Third world hungry, not our American, “I can’t find anything to eat” hungry.

When the doctors are at the end of explanation or treatment, healed bodies seem like a fairy tale when your body continues to rot with disease.

Life after this one can seem so distant when the life you are living in feels like hell already.

But…

Take heart… You are not alone…

Even though you are not aware, God’s grace is showing up…

Here are a few feeble attempts at closing this uncomfortable blog post…

~I’ve found this phrase to be helpful for my difficult days of doubt… “This too shall pass.”

~Then, when I can keep my mind clear, I remind myself, Doubt is faith getting some exercise.

One writer pens…

“Perhaps you’ve spent long enough being hard on yourself for having doubts about God. You may feel like God cannot and will not answer your prayers because of your doubt. I want to give you permission to stop beating yourself up over your doubts. You are normal. It’s okay. You are not alone. If God did not want us to ever doubt, he could have reached down and ripped the book of Psalms right out of the Bible. God is much bigger than our doubts.” ~Ben Young

If you need to tell someone you have doubt and you wonder if God will ever, ever, ever…whatever… Contact me by commenting below.

God’s grace to you.

May we be his grace by what we each share with others, understanding we didn’t get anywhere, least of all here, apart from it.

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Till next time…

Thanks for taking the time to ramble with me…